Speaking Of Vacations...

Does anyone actually listen to all the instructions they give on the plane? I mean all that supposedly good stuff about emergencies and how to exit in the event of what…. a crash???? I don’t listen. While I was away on vacation – yes, the one I didn’t mention…hehe – the crew members gave us all these instructions about how to pull down the oxygen mask and where the exit door was. Abeg!

As a proper Naija girl, I was busy praying that the weather and plane should be perfect, and that God should pilot the plane safely back to Baltimore. We will not meet any birds along the sky that will make our plane to plummet downward into any river – Hudson or not – because frankly, I cannot swim to save my life. Although, of course, if I had to pick one, I’d rather crash on water (than on land). And if any birds were to come close to our plane, may holy ghost fire consume them and send them into the abyss. Or the bottomless pit – whichever one is closer and more permanent.

Soooo I went on a much needed vacation to a place where the sun shines and keeps its inhabitants warm. It was very different from Maryland where it was 25°F the morning I left. I was treated like royalty, I tell you. I ate some good food the whole time I was there; it kinda makes me feel like going back. I visited alligators and even carried a baby one. Maybe I should have adopted it and brought it back to my house. That should be enough to keep Funmie away from my house for a while. The alligators in this picture are very real, and no, that is not the size of the one I carried. Abeg ooo!

I had the fabulousest time of my life! I was served strawberries & apples every morning – not the kind that was cut by some woman wearing latex gloves. These strawberries & apples were washed and cut by the bestest hands ever. Just look @ them.... *batting eye lashes*

For the first time, I went kayaking. My partner and I almost fell into the water, and of course, it was all his fault. He might beg to differ, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. We kayaked to the middle of the ocean/beach; the water was so beautiful, and I could not help think, “Chineke God of heaven above… if I fall inside this ocean, what will become of me? I cannot swim. I don’t even know if I can float. Hopefully, this life jacket I’m wearing is in good working condition. But what if there are alligators in here? Or worse, sharks and/or crocs? Oh, God! Please blind them. Let them not see me … or my bright blue life jacket.” As it came to pass, my dear readers, they did not spot me. I made it out alive and with all my limbs & appendages.

I had apple pie for the first time. It was warm and had cold creamy vanilla ice cream on top of it. Yummy. I ate oxtail pepper soup with mixed vegetables. Still can’t get it off my mind. I ate lasagna for the first time too. Try as I might to pick out the finely chopped onions, I just couldn’t find them. Me thinks it was a conspiracy against me to get me to eat onions. But it was surprisingly yummy. Yesterday, I found myself thinking about it. I saw the movie Madea Goes To Jail. Good stuff. Couldn’t stop laughing. Watched several episodes of the old British comedy, Mind Your Language. Too funny! My kind of comedy.

There were a few highlights: the dough I traveled with finally got kneaded. Had been wondering how and where to get that done. They do the best kneading over there, I tell ya. I had some French whispered into my left ear. Yeah...you could say I had a fantabulous time. :-)

Soooo.... any idea who I went to see? Me neither. :)

I'll be back on Tuesday. Have you voted for me? If not, do so asap HERE. And if you have not yet nominated me for all the categories in Category B, then please get to it HERE. (It ends by midnight today....so hurry!). See ya Tuesday!

P.S. I'm totally willing to give all the details about my vacation .... for the price of one Pour Femme by Bvlgari.

P.P.S. Per Temite's request ... if I win all the Category A categories I was nominated in, I will post a full picture of myself. Walahi talahi ... so you berra start voting.